


Homesick

by spiritsl



Category: Transformers: Cyberverse
Genre: High-Grade Energon (Transformers), Hopeful Ending, Nostalgia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28473363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritsl/pseuds/spiritsl
Summary: Shadowstriker can't help but feel apprehensive over the familiar fading away, but that doesn't stop her from begrudingly recognizing that there's no going back any longer.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9
Collections: Secret Solenoid '20-'21





	Homesick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dropout_ninja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dropout_ninja/gifts).



> Here's my Secret Solenoid for dropout_ninja! This gal is my absolute favorite, so I'm thrilled I got a chance to write something for her! I hope you like it, and happy New Year!

It was a stupid feeling, Shadowstriker knew that as well as a bot could. Realizing that, however, didn't stop the icy chill from seeping through her every time she rediscovered some facet of the planet that didn't match her memories.

At present, the very sight of the sun setting over the horizon was giving her all those unpleasant inklings she seemed incapable of escaping these days.

Leaning heavily again the railing of her balcony, which was settled rather high above the streets of New Kaon, she could only frown at the picturesque colors painting the far off Cobalt Canyons. As beautiful as it was, she remembered how the sky used to scatter the light... differently. Not having the words to describe the change doesn't make it any less glad it. It's as if she can't help but disdainfully compare memories to every single thing she sees. Some nerd bots had explained the many discrepancies between past and present Cybertron to be the result of the planet's recent renewal, going on and on about how returning the Allspark hadn't just wiped away the millions of years it had been dead... and at that point she'd stopped listening.

Huffing, she left the railing to collapse back on a bench she'd set up for relaxing outside, settling heavily into the scavenged and mismatched cushions. Though the obvious solution for her anger was to go _inside_ , where she couldn't see the landscape so antagonizing her, she refused to surrender as such. Nothing was going to make her move, especially not some dumb sky. Uncapping a pricey bottle of enjex, she poured herself a rather tall glass in moody silence, observing how the high quality purple swished about in a manner similar to how her thoughts rolled cyclically through her head. Even the tempting kick of a powerful brew couldn't keep her processor off the obvious conclusion it just kept coming too.

The fact that everything had changed, and was continuing to change, _unnerved_ her.

Knocking back a full gulp of her drink, she let the shock of its potent flavor give her some clarity as the sun continued its slow descent. In her defense; new things _did_ tend to bring new threats, which meant that disliking them wasn't really that odd. Most bots had become survivalists these past few million years, and that meant being wary of everything. Yet she was far too good at deception to pretend her emotions came purely from logic. There was a lot of... sentimental feeling behind her reason for disliking change, and that was what made her feel silly. After all, considering everything her kind had lost, she should have been grateful to have _any_ planet to live on at all. In fact, just being alive should have pleased her. So, to remain amongst the living on a fully reformed and thriving Cybertron? Complaining in any capacity about such fortune made her feel like a spoiled brat.

But in her mind, the problem was simply... Well, she'd longed for _home_ , and this place didn't feel like it, not yet at least. Considering what her journey to get everything back had cost her, she felt she had as much of a right to be mad about this as anyone. Taking another powerful sip, she watched the colors over the smooth landscape in the distance grow darker with every passing second, and glared as she recalled a thousand past sunsets where the light had come upon her in a very different body...

In fact, speaking of her right to be mad about things, she came to the sudden realization her unique circumstances entitled her to a tad bit more longing for the past than anyone. After all, she hadn't just lost friends and her home in the war to reclaim their planet, she'd lost so much of herself.

_Literally_

The one servo not matching the other became reapparent to her in that instant. Setting her cup down at the sight, she did what she always did when such thoughts invaded; recall her victories despite these setbacks.

There were many of them, those successes that only she got to claim, and she let the good memories steady her spark.

After all, surviving, and then learning to live again? Yeah, that had been her. Shockwave had been an obstacle to getting where she was now, not a benefactor, and she owed him as little now as she ever did. Retraining had been all her own efforts too, as the mad scientist had lost interest after he considered his "experiment" with her body to be over. The road to where she was had a lot of similiar hard hits along the way, and that meant the road to where she actually still wanted to go would likely still be a rough ways away, but that didn't scare her. When had impossible odds ever stopped her?

As the darkness allowed a completely different set of stars to bloom across the blackening sky, she took a quick sip of what remained of her drink, letting her thoughts on the whole thing get settled.

The war was over, bots and cons were no longer fighting, society was being rebuilt in a genuinely democratic foundation... Life had certainly been harder for her in the past, and she'd only emerged stronger, so what reason was there for her to believe things wouldn't continue to improve? If anyone could take advantage of a second chance, it was her. New Cybertron, new house, new body... through it all, she was still Shadowstriker, and nothing could take that away.

Finishing the last of her enjex, she came to the conclusion that longing about her past any further was foolish, because trying to change any of what was or is would be about as effective as trying to rewind the now ended sunrise. So why worry about how similar the present is to then? Her new body had carried her this far, and while it was not her first choice, it absolutely deserved respect for having taken the hits it had. On that note, she had the joy of knowing she was still an absolute _powerhouse_ , and she was only going to get stronger from here on.

Not to mention... she had friends this time around. Soundwave and... _others_ would be there if she needed them. Not to be sappy, she thought as she actually smiled at the brightening moon, but not having to go it alone wasn't sounding half bad. She was going to make this place her home again, and nothing was going to take that dream from her. It almost made her feel giddy for an instant, but that was probably just the enjex, she told herself quickly. Admittedly though, she really did feel more... alive than she did while the struggle had peaked. Not that she was _happy_ , per say, but having her nerve back felt very good. Knowing she could beat something came with an extremely wonderful boost to her confidence too.

Taking but a moment to observe the many new constellations, she went back inside her apartment, going for the berth to get the long kind of sleep one needed after a day like hers and a good drink. Not to mention she'd be needing energy to get out and take advantage of the fresh start being offered to every member of her race. Perhaps she could fully reconstruct herself in a way that was completely her choice? It wasn't quite clear to her what she specifically wanted, but having faced threats far more devastating than what was ahead, and then coming out fine?

She knew she'd really be coming out on _top_ this time. 


End file.
